My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
