Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
