Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.