Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
being pregnant is like rehab
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
