If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize