She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
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We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
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I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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