I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
