oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
