My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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