Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
