Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
