Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize