I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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