His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
