The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize