My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
