I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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