I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize