I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
People in love make me want to vomit
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
