You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize