I never want to see another naked old woman again.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
