nut hugger
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
