I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize