ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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