So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
