Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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