Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
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