dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Randomize
