Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
