Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I need to stop coming to work sober
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
