first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Randomize
