think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Randomize
