He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize