...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
