Kiss
Puke
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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