I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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