I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
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just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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