morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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