Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
