The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
