I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize