Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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