Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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