i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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