it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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