I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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