she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
