He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
