So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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