Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Actions speak louder than pants.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
