This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
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