My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
