The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
either way he was missing a nipple.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
