I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
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