That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
