Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
So vagazzling was a success
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize
