mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
