yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
