Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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