the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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